That One Thing...

I have been thinking a lot lately (so much it's probably getting to a point where it is bad for my health) about what I want to do with my life... 

You think since I am on my third year of being moved out and this is my second semester taken off of school that, that would have been plenty of time to discover my calling in life, career wise...but no, here I sit confused as ever.

The thing is I haven't found that one thing... Well, I'm not sure if I have found it or not...The thing that defines who I am.

 At some point in everyone's life they become something. Like they become a Business man or an Artist, a Mom or something like a Radiologist, a Teacher, or how about a Marine Biologist, an Adventurer, a Counselor, a Doctor, Ski bum, or a Dentist...

 They all find that one thing and then they know what they are suppose to be when they grow up. 

When in the world do you figure out what that thing is that helps you become what you are suppose to be?! Some people seemed to be born with that figured out. Do you just make a list of the things you love the most and find a career in that? Or do you find something you're really good at?  Or find something that you would be the most successful in and have lots of job security and make lots of money? OR do you find something that you love, that you will make lots of money, and that your really good at...

Is that even POSSIBLE?!

Another thing I'd like to know is do you keep doing school and trying different things until you figure it out? I mean that isn't just some pocket change that I have lying around. School is  A LOT of money.  

Do you just save up your money until you know...

Also I'd like to know if you have to be just one thing? What if I want to be more than one thing?

.

So if you were wondering why I only have my life planned up to December and I still don't know what I'm gonna do it's because I have these questions plus a billion more running through my head...

It's like an explosion of paperwork went off in my head and while I'm trying to sift between what documents go into my brain file and what papers go into my heart file, and what goes into the talents, passions, worries, hopes, and the dreams files there are boys, friends, family members, bills, homework, drama, and ultimately life who keep rudely stepping on those papers, distracting me, spilling and knocking over all the files I already organized. Life is running around in my brain, like a crazy ape unorganizing and destroying everything just as fast as I figure out and file something in it's proper place!!!

And just when I don't think it could get any worse or any crazier I realize that, on hey here is a whole other room with another explosion of paper work. This one is fulled with the possibilities of going on a mission, traveling the world, becoming a bum, or just screwing everything and marrying someone rich...

One thing is for sure, both rooms scare the crap out of me...and right now I am spending most of my time in the coasting room. But the more I coast the more I sweat and worry about the other two rooms. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm super happy and I am absolutely loving life right now. 

I just know that the clock is ticking everyday and I'm getting closer an closer to when I'm gonna have to face those rooms. I'll probably procrastinate as much as possible and then I'll run at them head first into that horrific explosion and organize it best I can and then pray that I'll find that one thing. I might have to go through the mission room first, but I know somehow, someway I'll make it work. 

For the time being I have decided to live by these three quotes. 

Well that's my venting craziness for now. Wish me luck.

Kelcey